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Why Is It So Hard To Do What We Want To Do?!

Especially as a working mommy...why is it so hard?! For some reason, well, for several reasons, we always consider others before we do anything. And I don't know about you, but I'm way too considerate when I feel like what I want to do is "selfish".

This happens most frequently when I try to do something that supports my self-care. For example, taking some quality me-time to go get a pedicure or go to the spa. I feel SOO bad for taking the time away from my hubby and kids, away from work, and away from tending the house. I usually try to convince myself that me-time isn't really that necessary. That everyone else needs me more so I can continue to push myself to the back burner. But what I really want to do is to enjoy my self-care activities without any mom guilt. I wanted to do what I wanted to do - for me! Ladies, please tell me I am not alone in this!

Of course, I can't talk about mom-guilt without talking about making changes to my career too. Back when I was in corporate, all of my career moves were based on the benefits for my hubby and my kids. It was never about what I would benefit from my job. And if I even started to think about what I wanted, I'd go into automatic mom-guilt. So to combat that, like many wives, I'd go home and talk to my husband before I agreed to any promotion or a new job. I would wreck my brain thinking about every benefit and possible consequence of my career move.

What ultimately happened was by talking to everyone else, I was more confused than before. I put the opinions of my husband, my kids, my parents, my managers, and my co-workers all before my own. It was as if I valued their thoughts more than I valued my own thoughts. In hindsight, here's what really happened:

  • I was trying to please EVERYONE, but myself.

  • In the depth of my heart and soul, I already knew what I wanted.

  • I was afraid of making a mistake.

I finally realized that I needed to make career decisions FOR ME. This wasn't anyone's career, but mine. Sure, there would be changes and possible risks with the decisions I made. But at the end of the day, if I won, everyone I love won too. For once in my life, I was betting on myself. And I knew that at the end of the day, as long as I was happy, everyone else would be happy.

Mamas, if you are struggling with mom-guilt, I invite you to throw deuces at it. Tell that damn mom-guilt to get lost. Ain't nobody got time for that crap...✌🏻

💜 Mollie

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